Resilient Muslim Wellbeing Guide
This is a blog post aimed at Muslims who want to improve their mental health and wellbeing.
Intention: Make the intention to become the best version of yourself for the sake of Allah Almighty. I cannot explain how important it is to make an intention.
Anchor Your Mind in Allah
Thoughts come and go — not all deserve your attention. Many people sit for hours just thinking. Ask yourself, is this thought helpful? If yes, think and take action based on your values. If it’s not useful, move on.
Feelings are temporary; pause before reacting. Take a breath, sit down, practice silence. Connect with yourself, connect to your Lord and take action based on your values.
Remind yourself: “Allah Almighty is enough for me” 2) Don’t Overthink — Focus on What You Can Control
>>Ask: “What is the next right step?”
Let go of what is beyond your control.
Many people waste time thinking about the past or things they can’t control. The elephant wishes he could fly! If things from the past are affecting you, get coaching and therapy, work on it in its allocated time and keep focusing on now and getting things done today, here and now. Life is short; we need to focus on what is important today, here and now. Use the time and energy to work on your physical and mental health and be productive for the sake of Allah Almighty.
Trust Allah’s timing. We can’t always see it at the time, but there really is khayr in everything. Please read that 3 times and take a breath. Say alhumduluLlah and keep going.
Oberve Thoughts Without Obeying Them
Thoughts are visitors, not rulers. We all experience unpleasant thoughts. These are not a reflection of you and who you are. Let them pass, as cars drive past your house, let the thoughts flow by. The difference between those who have good mental health and those who don’t isn’t that some get unpleasant thoughts and others don’t. It’s that some people believe the thoughts, engage with them and fight them.
Don’t argue with every thought. This often wastes our energy. We don’t realise how much mental thoughts exhaust us.
Say: “I notice this thought” Learn to observe yourself. This can give you a bit of space and make you feel less like a ragdoll being thrown around by unwanted thoughts. You are in the driving seat.
Feel empowered. Allah Almighty has given you the right to be the person you want to be. Thank Him and use your mind and life for Him and to achieve good for the Ummah.
Respond With Good Character
Don’t let someone else’s behaviour change who you are. We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Be less reactive, be more proactive.
Practice patience, gentleness, and forgiveness.
Also need to know when to say something. Focus on safeguarding your life and time to do the things that matter.
Everything that is valued in Islam takes energy and effort. Don’t assume you have good character. Many of us are oblivious to our flaws and don’t respond well to feedback.
Keep reading hadith and seerah, and focus on developing your character from the best of all creation.
Model the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم: gentle, patient, humble, forgiving
Ask daily: “How would the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم respond?”
Appreciate People While You Still Can
Thank, compliment, and pray for loved ones.
Spend time with them. Sometimes we don’t realise how much time and energy.
Our mental health takes and all the things we miss out on.
Life is short — everyone is temporary. No one on their deathbed wishes they spent more time at the desk!
Serve or volunteer. Help others in some way.
This will bring eternal reward and is beneficial for our mental health. When we serve others, we feel fulfilled and more grateful for our own blessings.
It can help reconnect us with a purpose and help us get out of our heads. Raise money or donate to charity.
Say your prayers on time.
Praying and gratitude are good for our mental health. We pray because Allah Almighty commends us to, and alhumduliLlah we also enjoy the benefits of these habits.
Praying on time helps us to organise our schedule and life, gives us purpose, and helps us to put our problems in perspective
Praying 5 times a day is also a barometer. It gives us a good idea if we have our priorities in order.
Pray for your mental health and wellbeing, pray for Aafiyah, pray for your parents and family, pray for Palestine and the blessed Ummah.
Thank Allah Almighty each time you pray and make the intention for the next one, so we always leave this world with the intention of praying, alhamduliLlah.
Many also strive to pray tahajjud in the precious moments of the night and ask Allah Almighty to fulfil their needs.
Set Boundaries With Kindness
Saying “no” is healthy and necessary.
Protect your mental and emotional energy
Boundaries are part of good character
Saying ‘yes’ to everything often means saying ‘no’ to things that really matter.
And saying yes just so you don’t feel bad, is not serving with ikhlas,
I’m not saying don’t be helpful. I’m saying it’s ok to say no sometimes, and you need to prioritise what’s important to you.
Ask yourself: What’s the most important thing I should be doing right now?
Ground Yourself & Practice Presence
Breathe slowly and deeply
Push your feet on the ground when you sit down
Stretch
Notice your breathing and recite salawaat.
Think about how you want to be.
Make the intention and take action for the sake of Allah Almighty.
Mindfulness for Muslims is about taqwa. Inculcate taqwa into your life.
Forgive for Your Own Freedom
Forgiveness releases your heart from past pain
It doesn’t excuse harm — it protects your wellbeing
Grudges drain our energy and make us sick.
It’s easier said than done. It takes daily time and effort.
Most people don’t truly forgive- they suppress and disassociate their true feelings.
Deep down they are still angry.
As I said, it takes effort. It doesn’t just come for free.
If you haven’t made the effort, you probably harbour more grudges than you realise. We are all work in progress. Ask Allah Almighty to help you to heal.
Live With Akhirah Perspective
Ask: “Will this matter in the grave?”
Don’t sweat petty drama. You have to sit back to know if it matters.
It may seem important at the time, and when the heat settles, you can see it was trivial. The muscle and skill you need to develop is seeing that lesson in the moment.
Protect your peace and dignity. Remember, Islam means peace. Safeguard your peace.
Think of all the hours you spend in family drama. Ask yourself, what could you do with that instead? Write a book, start a blog, set up a project to help your community. Use your time for good.
Marriage & Family Mental Health
Try to Make It Work
Misunderstandings are normal; effort and patience matter
Communicate openly, make duʿāʾ, seek help if needed
No one is perfect. We should strive to become our best version before we get married, but for many of us who are married, that ship has sailed!
Keep working on yourself, grow with your spouse.
Aim to spend 90 minutes with your spouse once a week. Go for a walk, have herbal tea/coffee together. Respond to your partner’s bids.
If they say they have had a difficult day, show interest and take time to offer support. Offer a massage.
The small things matter. Send your spouse a text, saying you love them, and thank them, or better still, tell them. Even if this sounds odd, give it a go.
Notice the transformation that takes place over 21 days.
🧠 Divorce is Painful
It’s especially impactful when children are involved.
Get help and try again to make it work.
Don’t walk away from your marriage without knowing you have given it your best shot.
Pray istikhara before making any big decisions.
Try a temporary break if needed.
Consider professional therapy or mediation. I usually see two good people who each have too much baggage to be able to function healthily.
Work to clear that baggage and insha Allah you will feel lighter and able to give this marriage.the chance it needs.
If it really is too late, trust the plan of Allah Almighty and focus on your mental well- being and the important people in your life.
Work on your issues and trauma before entering a new relationship, or you may find the same patterns just repeat themselves.
🛑 Domestic Abuse & Safety
Do not tolerate abuse (emotional, physical, or psychological)
Safety comes first for you and your children ( if you are blessed to have children)
Seek trusted support and professional help. Professional Help
Strong couples and individuals seek counselling — this is a sign of responsibility, not failure. Even if your spouse won’t get help, one person can often turn things around.
Daily Practices
Read Qur’an (even a few verses) and reflect
Journaling- daily, write down three things you’re grateful for and why. Writing is more effective than just saying it, but if you can’t write it, say it out loud.
Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.
Learn to say alhumduLillah before complaining.
Move your body daily, get fresh air and sunshine.
Limit screen time.
Hydrate, eat nourishing food, limit processed food, and don’t overeat
Aim for sleep by 10 pm
A list of wellbeing books and resources for Muslims is being compiled and will be posted soon, insha Allah.
Disclaimer: This guide is not therapy. If you need professional help, please seek it. If you are very unwell or suicidal, please contact help immediately from a healthcare service.
Further Support
1-to-1 therapy
Support for couples/marriage counselling WhatsApp: 07859 954 005 for further details.
Dr Ayiesha Malik